Our Suffociating Reality
by starraiser
Summary: I belong to you" I scream, a lie burnt into both our brains. Lying is how we survive now.


Our Suffocating Reality

Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club isnt mine, if it was Kaoru and Hikaru would so be a couple and so would Haruhi and Takashi.

Summary: "I belong to you" I scream, a lie burnt into both our brains. Lying is how we survive now.

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The sounds of footsteps fading pulled me from my dreamless sleep. The sound of chains collapsing to the ground, clicking as it hit the stone floor, caused my wake. My eyes felt dirty, crust from the tears you caused took resident on my eyelids, causing the lids to be too heavy. I couldn't help but notice how my arms were ached, some parts felt ticklish while some parts felt absolutely numb. The handcuffs didn't help matters any, the handcuffs that was already too small for my wrist, every so often the handcuffs seem to shrink, digging into my aching wrist. I don't know if you are the one tightening the handcuffs or if it is my own wrist swelling. My wrists are bleeding now, the blood rusting the handcuffs and dripping onto the stone beneath my blistered feet. Don't tighten it again, please; I swear next time the bone will shatter. Its already aching and cracking, I could feel it constantly, the pain makes me dizzy, makes me sick. You don't really care though, do you?

The handcuffs were nothing compared to the bounding you drilled around my neck. You even had the nerve to chain the bounding to the wall behind me, smiling absentmindedly as I tried desperately to break the chain. I never removed that bounding and you would have never let me in the first place. You must have tightened it again, I could barely lean forward without the chain yanking me backwards forcing me to resemble myself against the harsh dusty wall. You probably feel smug about my discomfort, you are probably laughing about it as you try to pay attention to YOUR friends. I can see it now, they cracking a joke while you imagine me heartbroken and naked in your prison. It must give you a kick doesn't it to know how much you destroyed me?

You left me here freezing and frightened. Alone, you left me alone. The only friends I have is a creepy little dust bunny named "Bo," and the extra set of handcuffs rotting with your absence. They try to keep me amused but they fail continuously. There not fun, Bo runs circles around me, and the handcuff just keeps complaining about how bored and lonely it is. They want me to have a playmate but I'm stuck here, stuck here with nothing but the feel of your hands bruising my waist and legs. You love it don't you, you have others out THERE and I am always pinned HERE just for you, you probably feel just so damn happy, don't you?

Well, I'm not happy, not even in the slightest. How can I be happy when you can escape from this hell and I keep sinking deeper and deeper in this hellhole? I want out, I want to live, I want to be free just like you are. Why can't you let me? Are you that insecure that you think I would run from you if you release all the cuffing you forced upon my sore body? I wouldn't, can't you see that? Please get me out of here, let me have my dreams back, the dreams you never permitted me to have. Give me freedom. It's not fair that you can breathe fresh air while I breathe in dust. It's not fair that you can have friends; while I'm chained and broken in the little dungeon you had forced me into so many years ago. It's not fair that you can come and go as you please while I am left begging and choking asking you for the freedom only you could give me. Time after time you reject my pleas and time after time I find myself slowly beginning to hate you.

"Fucking say you are mine", you yell at me at least twice a day. "I belong to you," is what I replied, a lie burnt into both our brains. I'm not yours because you can't ask me to devout myself to you when you love another. Lying is how we survive now. You stopped caring about my feelings years ago; I never voice them anymore too, even if you were to ask. I don't see the point of it anymore; you probably would just ignore it. My heart breaks every time you lock me away refusing to let anyone else close to me, even our-your friends. Everyday my bounding gets smaller and smaller and one day I will suffocate from the tightness of the chain around my neck. The dust keeps on growing, and breathing involves too much coughing.

One day you will stop coming by altogether and I will be but a doll. Maybe then you would love me again.

You are the model of unfairness. You get to live the precious life that we both used to ignore while I'm suck confused and terrified of what is going to happen once you stop coming to my prison cell.

You must be so satisfied to know you destroyed both our lives for what you hoped would be beneficial to you. It's not though is it, because you have too have baggage to be completely free from our cell and the more time you fucking waste trying to be happy, the more rage you feel. We are both wise enough to know who will be in the receiving end of your frustrations and damn it I hate you more for it. You will waste your whole life trying to be like everyone else while your heart and soul will forever belong to me and my prison cell. One day we will both be abused and dead in this secret cell, and then I can finally smile again, and you can finally really call me yours.

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How was it? Good, bad? Any feedback, criticizm, anything? I didnt get what I really wanted, I tried but it just didnt turn out the way I wanted it to but I still like it. Thank you for reading.


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